Affection needed.

I think the only reason I need my other half is because I need people that can give me quite amount of affection and attention.
But. I am still afraid that if my heart opened for that the one. He doesnt give me enough or should I say enough as I expected.
And even he got all the Mr Right materials. He still cannot satisfies me.

I am a bit choosy. Or not a bit lah. I am choosy. Particular I am.
And nobody can beat Izhar's materials. So I could conclude that I am pretty much lonelier night by night.

My expectation is. Someone who could me the affection I needed only when I in need. I am not 24/7 type of girl. As long as I get 1 sms that knowing you still alive. I think it is okay for me.
Just what I needed. I want the one that could trace my problems even before I tell him. Well. That kid of guy. I must say pretty much exctint or already someone's else someone.

It is okay.
Maybe I should wait a little longer, in fact I wanna spend my lifetime with him. So a little number of years it is okay for me.

With that.

"Love finds a way".

Finish.

Afraid

Current feeling is. Afraid.
As I observe most of my friend is looking for/having relationship. Or at least they know they searching for.
Me? Neither both. The most committed relationship I've been entering is with my friends. My committent to have fun with them. That all.
As far as I have been questioned, I couldnt answer this question.
"describe your Mr Right"
Seriously, I cannot answer it. Or at least I will give general answer. Mr Tolerable.

And now. Looking that my friend is jumping into relationship. Not to forget. The one that jumping out from relationship.
Make me wonders. What the hell Ive been doing all this moment.
I dont think I am doing enough preparation to attract an opposite gender.
My fashion taste is still the same when I reach puberty. I dont do and dont know how to do make up. I have this boyish-talk-style. And not to mention here. Bad bad bad behavior.
The list goes on. But still. All the above. I dont think there will be any male subject will attract to me. As far as I know. All the novel and movie about falling in love at 1st sight for personality is bullshit. It is happening for blind people only.

********

So the question here. Will I change later? Or will I stay the same and found my own kinda guy which I literally cannot describe him?

Truthfully. I am afraid with the answer.


Shit, future scares me alot.

She is one of a kind

I met a stranger.
She is one of a kind.
I could sit with her and talk about life for hours.
Craps, serious matter. All the issues.
No im not fallen, it is mesmerizing me when we are from no relationship.

I think my theory is right.
Someone new, u got no mind set about him/her, so everything u know something new about her is a thrill feeling. U know.
When u jut know a secret. The thrill feeling.

She said " i tell stories. Not secrets"

But. With stories. Come the great great secret behind it right?

One of a kind she is?
Lets just put it as a.
She is my kind. My favourite type of people.

If you have the urge to continue the conversation. I will make 200% effort more than you, dear.
When people said I start leaving. Then think back again. Am I the one start leaving. Or you the one stop responding.

Yes. Because I am the one that always talk and talk. Doesnt mean I am no listener.

Shitness. *end of it


Finish.